About Drunkage.com & Me

If you like terrible ideas, you and me should hang out, because I’ve got tons of them, and this is just my latest one!

Terrible Idea

Another terrible idea I have is ending sentences with exclamation points!

I never really lived the college experience, and for that matter I never really finished college. I’ve been thinking about going back to finish my last year, but it’s really expensive and I thought this might be a good way to offset the cost of tuition.

Math

Then I did the math and realized I’d have to do like 200 calls just to buy five credits, and I need 47. No biggy right, that’s only like 2,200 calls. Problem is I can’t drink that much, and not for a lack of trying.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t live the college experience. I can drink and call you. That sounds like fun right? And don’t think of it as paying me to be your friend for a few minutes, think of it as you buying me a drink and me just calling to say thanks.

I’m a super fun guy

And I’m almost knowable. Not quite famous, nor quite close to it, but I’ve probably written a satirical or hoax site you’ve read. Statistically about 1 in 5 Americans has read something I’ve written. I’ve authored some of the most successful hoax sites of the last few years, and a handful of them have been prominently featured across the myth sites, morning radio and all kinds of news programs. In short, I’m a super fun guy to talk to, and I ask only a pittance for you to find out for yourself.

If you want to support me without me annoying you, you can ask for a sober thank you call, or no call at all and just toss me a nickel. I’m like that performance artist on the corner with his tuba, except me calling you in the middle of the night being all drunk and stupid is slightly less annoying.

Besides, I got kids to feed, man, and every time I feed them they grow a little, so I have to buy more clothes. It never ends.